I had a dream the other night that me and an old friend of mine made peanut butter and frosting sandwiches. They were incredible. They were also in my dreams, so who knows what kind of lies my brain might have been feeding me. What do you guys think?

Let me introduce you to the most amazing Malaysian pizza you will ever eat. (If I’m going to use such a blatant hyperbole, I have to throw in a qualifier like “Malaysian.” Because sometimes nothing beats good ol’ pepperoni and I don’t want you coming at me with pitchforks. But I guarantee you will never find a better Malaysian-inspired pizza.)

This really is one of my favorite pizza recipes though. It is spicy and Asian and I love it, even though Asian food and I are not always on the best of terms.

As I kneaded the dough for the crust (and by “kneaded” I mean “flipped my Kitchenaid switch on”) I was reminded of the classic family legend of The Dough Hook. My mom used to have a stand mixer straight from the 80s, with the classic spiral dough hooks. Just a convenient way to combine food, right? Wrong. Never underestimate the ingenuity/stupidity of adolescent boys, who are 85% hormones and 15% hair,* and who can turn most regular household items into implements of death.

I don’t remember the details, I just know that in the end one of my brother’s friends threw the dough hook, intending to spear someone across the room. Fortunately he missed, and instead punctured the wall, where it quivered horizontally, knife-like. If that’s not inspiration to buy a stand mixer/take javelin lessons, I don’t know what is. Those dough hooks could save your life someday.

Today I’m listening to Anna (El Negro Zumbon) by Pink Martini. It is such a fun song!

Malaysian Chicken Pizza

Source: Cooking Light

3/4 cup rice vinegar
1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
3 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
2 tablespoons chunky peanut butter
1/2 to 3/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
4 garlic cloves, minced
cooking spray
1/2 pound skinless, boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces (about one breast)
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded reduced-fat, reduced-sodium Swiss cheese
1/4 cup (1 ounce) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
1 12-inch pizza crust (I used my basic recipe and froze half of the dough.)1/4 cup chopped green onions

Preheat oven to 500°.

Combine first 8 ingredients (through garlic) in a bowl; stir well with a whisk.

Heat a nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium heat. Add chicken, and sauté 2 minutes. Remove chicken from pan.

Pour rice vinegar mixture into pan, and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Cook mixture 6 minutes or until slightly thickened. (mine took longer than this. It should be boiling the whole time, so stick around and stir.) Return chicken to pan; cook 1 minute or until chicken is done. (Mixture will be consistency of thick syrup.)

Sprinkle cheeses over prepared crust**, leaving a 1/2-inch border, and top with chicken mixture. Bake at 500° for 9-12 minutes on bottom rack in oven. Sprinkle with green onions. Place pizza on a cutting board; let stand 5 minutes.

*You get 1,000 awesome points if you recognize this quote from the classic teenage novel Dating: No Guts, No Glory by Joni Hilton.

**Whenever I make pizza, I roll out the dough onto parchment paper, rub the whole thing with olive oil, and use a baking sheet to transfer the dough to the pizza stone (still on the paper). I let it cook in the heated oven for one minute, then I take it out (still on the paper) and proceed with my recipe. This helps the crust keep it’s shape. I started doing this after one too many perfect circles of dough that got destroyed en route to the pizza stone.

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  1. 1. Clearly I’m a little behind on my blog reading…
    2. I want to eat this so much I can’t even tell you…
    3. And related to the actual post. I don’t like peanut butter. Can you taste it or is it just to sort of tame the spices? Have you ever made it without?

    1. You don’t like peanut butter? Hm, that does put a damper on our relationship. (Princess Bride? Anyone?) The peanut flavor is not overwhelming, especially since there are so many other strong flavors in the sauce (hello ginger), but then again I like peanut butter. If you make this do creamy peanut butter (I’m assuming you don’t like peanuts?) If you can’t handle any at all then I would recommend adding some corn starch to your sauce to help it thicken up. Anywhere from 2-4 teaspoons I’m guessing. If you try it let me know how it turns out!

      1. You’re about to like me even less; not only have I never finished The Princess Bride, I didn’t enjoy the parts I saw (o:

        I do like peanut butter if I’m in the mood. And I’ll get some peanut-flavored things at Thai places, so I’m not against it. I’m just wondering if the sauce is ruined if I’m not in a peanuty mood. I don’t know why you won’t just made a whole patch of non-peanut butter sauce to test so I don’t have to. And then give it to me (o:

        Kidding (o:

        But if I make it (I want to try with creamy and with corn starch), I’ll let you know! I’m moving next month, so I don’t imagine I’ll be doing a lot of cooking until I’m settled in my new house. If you decide March is going to be your “Highlight of Easy Recipes for Kristy to Use in Her New Life Without Roommates (who eat all the leftovers or food she made but ended up not liking)” then I would be all over that!

  2. 85 % hormone, 15% hair. That’s awesome. I didn’t even remember that quote and I loved that book. Did you check out the book’s cover when you linked to it? Hello, 80’s. I think the guys were 20% hair back then. lol

    1. I searched specifically for a copy with that book cover because it is the best book cover ever made. The more recent edition has a snappy new cover and the guy on it doesn’t look anywhere near 20% hair, or even 15%. It’s a real shame.

  3. The story is so much better than that Karen. Dave wasn’t trying to throw it. He was trying to wave away the smell of a fart when the hook slipped out of his hand and stuck in the wall.

    1. whaaaaat??? How do I not know the best part of that story??? Of course there had to have been farting involved. I should change that percentage to say 80% hormones, 15% hair, 5% maliferous odors.

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