Kiwi Lime Jam

So what do you guys eat when there is nothing to eat around the house? I usually end up going for something terribly unhealthy. That or I bake something. Because I always have the energy to bake, but I do not always have the energy to make real food. Funny how that works.

Tonight I didn’t feel like making dinner because I spent the day deep cleaning our house. Eric’s birthday is this weekend and a clean house is part of my present to him. This is How To Be a Lazy Housewife 101, ladies: Slowly diminish your chore schedule to the point that you are only cleaning when people are coming over, and even then make it a frantic 20-minute pick-up before they arrive. Save the real cleaning for birthdays and Christmas. You will be amazed at how much your husband doesn’t notice.

So anyway, after all that scrubbing and wiping and vacuuming, we were scrounging for food. Eric ended up eating a combination of leftover noodles, tomato paste (that was frozen for several months, then thawed in our refrigerator a few weeks ago; I was about to throw it out), parmesan, and lots of Italian seasoning. It looked revolting. It’s a good thing he’s usually not on his own for cooking anymore, otherwise he might not have made it this long.

I sautéed sliced zucchini and then put it in a swiss and mozzarella quesadilla. It was actually really good. I dipped it in mustard. Sorry, did that just ruin it for you? I’m telling you, it was really good.

Check out this wicked lookin’ jam, people. Kiwi Lime. Yes. Are you thinking about how lame you are for never having come up with such a glorious combination? Because I definitely was the whole time I made this. Kiwi lime!! This is why food is so great. We will never run out of new flavor combos. My hilarious friend Ami over at bunkers down posted this recipe a while back, and when we received several kiwi in our co-op last week, I knew the produce gods were smiling upon me.

I know those black seeds look formidable, but you don’t really notice them. They are not like raspberry seeds, which are completely indestructible, and which also happen to be the exact size and shape of my back molar; as delicious as raspberries are, there is nothing more odious than having those little seeds stuck in your teeth. Kiwi seeds, on the other hand, are quite docile, and can easily be crushed into oblivion.

I made simple biscuits to go with this jam, but now I am thinking of all the amazing things you could do with it. Tropical PB&J? Top off some oatmeal? Pipe it into the center of a cupcake? Mix it with cream cheese and spread it on toast? Eat it with a spoon? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and a yet another resounding yes.

Today I’m listening to Do you Realize?? by The Flaming Lips.

Kiwi Lime Jam

Source: Ami at bunkers down

8 or 9 ripe kiwi (about 2 cups mashed)
4 cups sugar
2 teaspoons lime zest (more! more!!)
1/2 cup fresh lime juice
1/2 cup water
1 (1.75 oz) package powdered fruit pectin

Peel the kiwi, then mash them in a large bowl.  Ami says, “Yes, peeling kiwis is a loathsome task that we all hate.  But persevere, this jam is totally with it.” She is right. I tried cutting the kiwi in half and scooping out their guts, but honestly peeling was the less loathsome of the two. Instead of mashing the kiwi I actually put them in my Kitchenaid and paddled them into submission. (Use a cover if you do this. I definitely had a couple whole kiwis fly out and smack into the wall.) Then I used a masher to finish up.

Add sugar and lime zest.  Let this fruit mixture stand for ten minutes.

While the kiwis are resting, combine water and lime juice in a large saucepan.  Stir in the powdered fruit pectin. Bring this to boil over high heat.  Boil it hard for one minute, stirring constantly.

Add the fruit mixture to the pectin mixture.  Stir for three minutes or until the sugar dissolves. Remove from heat and cool for fifteen minutes.

Pour this into freezer containers (leaving 1/2 inch of headspace.) Let stand at room temperature for 24 hours before serving or storing.  Kiwi-lime jam keeps in the refrigerator for three weeks or in the freezer for a year.

Makes about five cups.